The River

Back from a morning walk in the Desert. Sudden cool weather let me go out during the day for perhaps the last time until Fall. The small Desert spring has been re vitalized after a couple of cool days. It's water level has risen. However, it will soon diappear underground till Fall.
It is good to get out to where things are clear, clean and simple. Last nite I ordered a new pair of moccasins as the ones I'm wearing have a hole in one toe. There is another hole about to break through on the other toe. I don't look forward to breaking in a new pair. In the old ones I know what the traction is and they're good and flexible. All good things must come to an end some wise man said. Is he right? I might have stayed out longer but I wanted to spend some quality time with the kids (ages 14 and 12).

I'm still struggling with the goal oriented/process oriented balance in my work. I have been for years. It's such a Protestant thing. I feel the deadline looming. I know that the Indians lived in present time - without future deadlines. They were task oriented. In a good way. These new Native American style flutes are shaping up nicely. I like the simplicity of the three woods. The Eb that I am making for myself doesn't sound the way I wanted it too. The copper condensing tube running through the slow air chamber seems to change the acoustics. Perhaps it reduces the effect of the SAC being a secondary resonace chamber.

In the Desert the flute seems more at home than in the house. Or, is it because I can put my whole body into it instead of being constrained by being in a chair. I've ordered a Zoom H2 digital recorder so that I can do some recording outside in the canyons and post it on the site. I have certain reservations about this. It will add an element of civilization and complexity to what is otherwise a very primal experience. But, when I took it to a Power place the indication was that it was appropriate to do this.

The flute bag that I use is made out of an old pair of blue jeans. I lined it with some acrylic fleece and put an old Peruvian sash on it. This way, I can wear it over my shoulder while I'm walking and climbing. I carry only one flute. I hardly know it's there. Until I need it to bring things together into a single point of consciousness.

Things are so simple, clean and understandable when I'm surrounded by Nature. I know that I have to integrate this pristine head/nature space into my family/work space.

I want to speak a little about my life experience. The formative experiences. But, I don't know where exactly to start. So, I guess it will have to be at the beginning. I was born on the banks of a river. A salt water river that rose and fell with the tides. The river was fed by streams running off the land. The water was a mix of salt and fresh. The type of water that supports a myriad of life forms. So the river - called the Navasink - was teaming with life. It was itself alive. I think that part of that river of life was given to me. It has given me an awareness and respect/reverance for life in all it's forms. I live and have my being in the river of Life. No matter how crazy things were at home I had the river to go to. And, the river was always True and Good. It would heal and nourish my soul. Everything was OK with the river - always. All it's changes were pure and meaningful. It made the crazy and dysfunctional go away.


I grew up wading, swimming, boating, fishing, crabing, sitting by and tasting and smelling that river. In the backyard of my house was a midden of oyster and clam shells. Probably left by the aboriginal inhabitants. There were no oysters left in the river. They need clear water and the river by my day was too polluted for them. There were lots of clams though. And, clamers went out in the shallows and gathered them with long handled rakes. It looked like hard work. Those men kept to themselves. We kids didn't know them.

Now, I wander in the dry, dry desert far from salt water. I've come to love it. But, there was a long period of adjustment before I felt at home here. Now, I am dependent on the blue sky and sunshine. The long clear vistas, the mountains and rocks. They are home to me now. Me, who grew up standing knee deep in water.