Fear and Greed

What have we got to fear? With me it’s fear of loss. Loss of love. Loss of respect. Loss of security. I feel fear of failure. I don’t want to feel that others are judging or condemning me. This makes me afraid.

What have we got to be greedy about? I’m greedy/needy for recognition. Greedy for accomplishment or mastery of Life. I want to have it all and to keep it forever. Good luck.

The Native American style flute allows me to opportunity to confront my fear and greed. In order to learn and grow I must allow myself the right to make mistakes without labeling them as failures. To do this I must leave my fears behind. I accept that I am not going to be perfect all the time. This is OK. In fact only by giving myself the right to be imperfect can I continue to grow with my flute. My music is an exploration. Sometimes it leads to unexpected notes. Notice I did not say wrong notes. An unexpected note opens the space for a new improvisation to evolve. The improvisation finds a way to use the new note. The music improvises new ways to integrate the note into established patterns. This leads to new opportunities for expression. If we stay within the boundaries circumscribed by our fear of hitting a wrong/bad note nothing new happens. We are safe. But we are going in circles.

My greed wants me to be accomplished. I want to be confident that I have it wired. I don’t want to make mistakes. The mistakes that can lead to judgment or shame. Right! Try and make that one work. However, the music is a jealous lover. It will not allow of split attention. If my focus is on getting it right then I will not be surrendered to the music.

I know that the music coming through the flute can transport me to a place without fear and greed. The music is all that exists. Nothing else matters. My unique contribution to the universe is expressing itself in music. If no one hears – that’s OK. If the whole world hears – that’s OK too. What’s the difference? The flute has the answer.

Today we celebrate the birth of a man who sacrificed his life publicly so that the message ‘you are forgiven’ could get across. He told us that we can let go of our fear of failure. We can let go of our desire to be perfect. The Universe gives us the right to make mistakes. In fact it encourages us to do so.