I’m just trying to get a grip on it. So much is happening, wife and kids, friends and business. My son Robert and all the things that are going on in Robert's life. Serena, and the wonderful things that are going on in Serena's life. My relationship with Cathy my wife. To be perfectly aware of her needs, attuned to her so that I interact to the best of my ability as a friend and a grateful companion.
And my Native American style flute business and all the wonderful people coming and going in my life, getting new flutes, having flutes repaired, sending emails and answering questions. I'm occupied dawn to dusk with this stream of happenings. Situations that need to be addressed, questions and conversation that needs to be taken part in.
But then there are the morning walks, when I can put on my moccasins, get my water bottle, set out across the street and then straight into the most glorious landscape on the Planet Earth. Broken ancient granite rocks a hundred million years old jutting out of the earth like the bones of dinosaurs. Glimpses of a snow capped mountain so blissfully near with its shining white cap, and yet so gratefully far with its freezing winds that don't reach me here in the desert.
My young Springer spaniel Merlin (Honey is laid up with a bad shoulder) racing across the landscape. Seeing him is like watching the most incredibly talented ballerina dancing across the worlds most intricate and exquisitely designed playground as he bounds and leaps over the rocks. A young spirit completely in harmony with itself, and enjoying the experience of life on a planet we call Earth.
Up into the broken rocks now, stepping from one to another - perfect balance.
What an experience, Avatar times a thousand, a thousand thousand. 3D real life adventure in the most beautiful of all worlds called Planet Earth. In the midst of that timelessness we call Creation. Incarnated into intimate close association with a physical body of glorious proportions and abilities. Abilities as yet unexplored by man. And in this body I stride across the desert on my moccasined feet feeling this Being, monstrous, unbelievable, mothering, gentle, loving, dynamic, self sustaining, almost immortal....almost immortal. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions of years of life continuously exploring and unfolding into a new dimension called time.
And to realize that in the midst of my everyday world I often lose track of the significance of time and get caught up in my petty worries about my business, about the situation with my family and others. The great other, the outside world, the Pinda world as my teacher called it.
The human world of illusion, the passing dream-like world of mans own mind. So that world exists. It goes on. But it is outside the confines of what is True and Holy. The human world, an insane manifestation of ego and greed coupled together bringing destruction to all the other life forms on earth - suffering and destruction. The human minds own manifestation of what we call, somewhat ambiguously, reality.
But this human reality is not in line with what makes possible a harmonious, fruitful, cooperative, collaborative, co creative manifestation of thought and action that we call Love. The love that is evident in every bush and tree and bird and animal and everything down to the most minute life form that is spontaneously graciously embracing the opportunity to manifest itself as a part of an evolving dimension.
Man long ago separated himself from that Eden and walked a path of mind centered, social creativity. A creativity involving patterns of interactive behavior and thought that manifests as the human derived world around us. It is embodied in the actions and creations of our fellow human beings.
I must accept it for what it is without judgment or despair, or anger, or even confusion and reaction. This human creation is perfectly obvious, it doesn't try and hide itself in fact it extols itself through every possible means available. The great and glorious creation of man. The wonderful world of what is called capitalism and somewhat disingenuously called free markets. A human world with its accompanying exploitation, wars and destruction, lies and deceptions, secret information held by only a select few. Information that the populous at a large is not deemed worthy or fit, or capable of seeing and understanding.
So this old man with his feet treading on this beautiful, wonderful, unbelievable planet has somewhat of a disconnect. Time to take out my Love flute and play away these thoughts.
To Be Continued
Facing the Great Unknown
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Around the Bend
I know that there is a place somewhere down the road, not to far away. Perhaps just around the next bend, or over the next little rise in the rocks. It is a place whose horizon has no end, and the space above my head reaches to infinity. I will stand in that field as the sun is rising, as its rays are beginning to illuminate the outlines of the rocks and trees. I will stand erect with my eyes gazing in front of me. Then I will make a slow 360-degree turn and pan the horizon with my eyes for the last time. I will say goodbye to the mountains, I will say goodbye to the clouds, I will say goodbye to the moon, I will say goodbye to the sun and its rising majesty. I will say goodbye to all the lovely sights never to be seen again.
As I stand there I will apologize to all the people I have hurt in my life through my ignorance and my pain. I’m sorry. I let that go. Then I will remember all the people, all the wonderful people who have helped me along my path. Each one contributing something immeasurable, indefinable, beyond limits, to my life. Wonderful people who have broadened the horizon of my consciousness. Thank You. Though you know not who you are, you carried a message that was important for me. Thank You.
I will embrace the people who I have loved here on this earthly plane. For the last time I will feel their body press against mine in an ecstasy of trust and love. Thank you, I love you dearly. Perhaps I have not touched many. But that was not mine to decide, nor mine to judge what is beyond my understanding, far beyond, far beyond. Each and every one is an important member of my family. Playing their role to absolute perfection in this fantastic experience we call the evolution of human consciousness.
I will look again at the rays of the rising sun and at the moon overhead. I will see the mountains waiting patiently to catch the first rays of the sun. I will say goodbye with all my heart, to the glories that are life on this planet Earth.
But that must wait for another day, for there are many miles yet for these aging legs to wander, people to meet, wonderful conversations to have. Insights with all their brilliant beauty flashing here and there. Insights bringing messages of love and truth and joy. So I tarry awhile, look around at that wonderful field, and then go back into the desert. I climb back over a hill and re-enter the world of men again, one more time to say "Hello, what's going on?"
As I stand there I will apologize to all the people I have hurt in my life through my ignorance and my pain. I’m sorry. I let that go. Then I will remember all the people, all the wonderful people who have helped me along my path. Each one contributing something immeasurable, indefinable, beyond limits, to my life. Wonderful people who have broadened the horizon of my consciousness. Thank You. Though you know not who you are, you carried a message that was important for me. Thank You.
I will embrace the people who I have loved here on this earthly plane. For the last time I will feel their body press against mine in an ecstasy of trust and love. Thank you, I love you dearly. Perhaps I have not touched many. But that was not mine to decide, nor mine to judge what is beyond my understanding, far beyond, far beyond. Each and every one is an important member of my family. Playing their role to absolute perfection in this fantastic experience we call the evolution of human consciousness.
I will look again at the rays of the rising sun and at the moon overhead. I will see the mountains waiting patiently to catch the first rays of the sun. I will say goodbye with all my heart, to the glories that are life on this planet Earth.
But that must wait for another day, for there are many miles yet for these aging legs to wander, people to meet, wonderful conversations to have. Insights with all their brilliant beauty flashing here and there. Insights bringing messages of love and truth and joy. So I tarry awhile, look around at that wonderful field, and then go back into the desert. I climb back over a hill and re-enter the world of men again, one more time to say "Hello, what's going on?"
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The Rising Sun
The age of the warrior is almost over. The bloody sunset of this era of violence will soon fade from our eyes and memories. Already dawning is the age of Peace. The age of the singer, the dancer, the player of flutes. The age of the beater of drums, the lovers of women and of men, the lovers of the world, the darlings of creation, the hope of the future. A future when the sons and daughters of man will live in harmony with the earth. The days of death dealing are coming to an end. Oh blessed end to the millennia of strife and violence. The days, months, years, centuries, millennia of the bloody warriors were many. To long violence and the fear of violence held sway over the minds of hearts of humanity.
Soon the days of fear, want and exile will be over for ever. The doors are open wide to a new and glorious future. A future in which even the memory of violence is erased from the soul of mankind. We descended into the pit and toiled on the earth. Sweat poured from our brow and blood from our wounds. Man lived in fear, and died in pain. The wheel of time turns slowly, slowly, slowly on the axis of the Universe.
Everything we need is always and ever at our fingertips. When we are free of fear and give openly and generously to each other, there is no longer want. Children no longer experience poverty. Parents no longer experience fear and anxiety for the welfare of their children. In the world around us we see a social system that condones the suffering of children. A system that allows hunger to fill their bellies with pain and their eyes with tears. This system is Evil to its very core. It will soon be erased forever from the face of this beautiful, generous, loving, supportive planet we call Earth.
Oh glorious days of the rising sun with its gentle, nurturing rays. God given Sun radiating equally to all the energy of life. Spreading its wings of light across the sky. Blessing us with its abundant glory. Manifesting for us through every second of our lives its generosity and power. Hear us oh Sun, we are bringing your truth and light and strength into the world. We carry in our hand a piece of your torch. We carry in our heart the truth of your love. We too, each in our own unique way bare gifts of light to share and illuminate the hearts of our brothers and sisters. And they in turn do the same for us. Oh glorious day of the rising sun. Hope of mans liberation and fulfillment, in concert with the mothers and the fathers and the brothers and the sisters and the sons and the daughters singing a new song. Filling the air with joyful triumphant music, playing the drum, playing the flute, shaking the rattle, moving the feet dancing ecstatically, celebrating the dawn of a new age of Peace.
Soon the days of fear, want and exile will be over for ever. The doors are open wide to a new and glorious future. A future in which even the memory of violence is erased from the soul of mankind. We descended into the pit and toiled on the earth. Sweat poured from our brow and blood from our wounds. Man lived in fear, and died in pain. The wheel of time turns slowly, slowly, slowly on the axis of the Universe.
Everything we need is always and ever at our fingertips. When we are free of fear and give openly and generously to each other, there is no longer want. Children no longer experience poverty. Parents no longer experience fear and anxiety for the welfare of their children. In the world around us we see a social system that condones the suffering of children. A system that allows hunger to fill their bellies with pain and their eyes with tears. This system is Evil to its very core. It will soon be erased forever from the face of this beautiful, generous, loving, supportive planet we call Earth.
Oh glorious days of the rising sun with its gentle, nurturing rays. God given Sun radiating equally to all the energy of life. Spreading its wings of light across the sky. Blessing us with its abundant glory. Manifesting for us through every second of our lives its generosity and power. Hear us oh Sun, we are bringing your truth and light and strength into the world. We carry in our hand a piece of your torch. We carry in our heart the truth of your love. We too, each in our own unique way bare gifts of light to share and illuminate the hearts of our brothers and sisters. And they in turn do the same for us. Oh glorious day of the rising sun. Hope of mans liberation and fulfillment, in concert with the mothers and the fathers and the brothers and the sisters and the sons and the daughters singing a new song. Filling the air with joyful triumphant music, playing the drum, playing the flute, shaking the rattle, moving the feet dancing ecstatically, celebrating the dawn of a new age of Peace.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Honey is Getting Old
I watch Honey now, she's changing... She's been changing all along. Life is just a long series of changes, and possibly transformations. Honey's days of running, and skipping across the desert, almost like a bird touching the ground, have passed. She will never experience that again. Now she walks slowly and prefers to stay in my footsteps.
If she explores ahead, she may go down one path and I'll choose another. Then Honey will have to backtrack to catch up with me. In her genes she knows that she can no longer expend that extra energy. So she follows dutifully and quietly at my heels.
Watching Honey age is a painful but enlightening experience, Because in her, in my dear Honey, I see myself. I feel things now in a rather alarming fashion - in pains that I have never experienced before. Once I had a body like the young Honey. It was the body of the young John. I also ran across the desert and my feet barely touched the ground. My body never said no, never said tired, never said pain; that is over for me as it is over for Honey.
But unlike Honey I choose not to go down the path of limitation, of progressive decline of changing behaviors, the new behaviors becoming ever limited in scope. If I listen to the messages of pain and begin to restrict my movements and activities in response to my body saying "No don't go there, No I'm tired, No don't do that" I’ll do what Honey is doing. Honey without thought follows the path of limitation. Her body says "be careful take it easy" and she obeys. The human mind, my mind, is different in one sense, I can tell my body what to do; I can override its genetic program, the one that slowly shuts down activity and spirals ever more rapidly toward death.
It is not because I fear death that I choose not to allow my body dictate to me. It is because I know that the natural progression can be changed through the simple act of will. "Yes I WILL take that step, I WILL except my pain as a messenger, as a gentle friend, as a new level of consciousness". I find these changes to be an interesting new sensation of awareness and fullness in my body. Because the pain shows me so many new places that I never knew existed. It helps in the visualization of my skeletal and muscular structure; like a light being shown into a dark corner. These new sensations light up areas of my body awareness which until this point had been totally unconscious.
The Sun is about to rise over the rocks. It's journey South into Winter progressing day by day. Will Honey and I be here to witness the winter solstice? Will we be here to watch the Sun reverse its course and begin to climb again towards the North and arch higher and higher across the sky? Will we see its rays becoming ever more intense and vivifying until they begin to bake the desert?
Now a cooler wind is blowing down from the mountains. October, more clouds in the air. Not a single bird singing this morning,. The mating season, that great pull of life to reproduce and expand itself is over. The Earth is going back to rest, the plants going back to rest, the birds moving further South to more abundant climes, to warmer winds.
The Blue Jays remain but they are silent now. Their last feeding frenzy of the Fall when the pinion pines opened their cones and exposed the tender seeds within is over. And now a Jay comes by to take a look at my strange presence in the middle of his world. He doesn't say a word. He doesn't cry in alarm. He just looks. We share this fall/ winter approaching landscape in silence.
Ahhhh the sun, peaking its burning corner above the rocks.
If she explores ahead, she may go down one path and I'll choose another. Then Honey will have to backtrack to catch up with me. In her genes she knows that she can no longer expend that extra energy. So she follows dutifully and quietly at my heels.
Watching Honey age is a painful but enlightening experience, Because in her, in my dear Honey, I see myself. I feel things now in a rather alarming fashion - in pains that I have never experienced before. Once I had a body like the young Honey. It was the body of the young John. I also ran across the desert and my feet barely touched the ground. My body never said no, never said tired, never said pain; that is over for me as it is over for Honey.
But unlike Honey I choose not to go down the path of limitation, of progressive decline of changing behaviors, the new behaviors becoming ever limited in scope. If I listen to the messages of pain and begin to restrict my movements and activities in response to my body saying "No don't go there, No I'm tired, No don't do that" I’ll do what Honey is doing. Honey without thought follows the path of limitation. Her body says "be careful take it easy" and she obeys. The human mind, my mind, is different in one sense, I can tell my body what to do; I can override its genetic program, the one that slowly shuts down activity and spirals ever more rapidly toward death.
It is not because I fear death that I choose not to allow my body dictate to me. It is because I know that the natural progression can be changed through the simple act of will. "Yes I WILL take that step, I WILL except my pain as a messenger, as a gentle friend, as a new level of consciousness". I find these changes to be an interesting new sensation of awareness and fullness in my body. Because the pain shows me so many new places that I never knew existed. It helps in the visualization of my skeletal and muscular structure; like a light being shown into a dark corner. These new sensations light up areas of my body awareness which until this point had been totally unconscious.
The Sun is about to rise over the rocks. It's journey South into Winter progressing day by day. Will Honey and I be here to witness the winter solstice? Will we be here to watch the Sun reverse its course and begin to climb again towards the North and arch higher and higher across the sky? Will we see its rays becoming ever more intense and vivifying until they begin to bake the desert?
Now a cooler wind is blowing down from the mountains. October, more clouds in the air. Not a single bird singing this morning,. The mating season, that great pull of life to reproduce and expand itself is over. The Earth is going back to rest, the plants going back to rest, the birds moving further South to more abundant climes, to warmer winds.
The Blue Jays remain but they are silent now. Their last feeding frenzy of the Fall when the pinion pines opened their cones and exposed the tender seeds within is over. And now a Jay comes by to take a look at my strange presence in the middle of his world. He doesn't say a word. He doesn't cry in alarm. He just looks. We share this fall/ winter approaching landscape in silence.
Ahhhh the sun, peaking its burning corner above the rocks.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Trust, Love, Respect and the Fabric of Creation
How do we take that most important of all steps? The step out side our selves. How can we, how can the world, find peace when it’s all about me, myself and I? I no longer envision this step as some sudden transformation. But, instead it is taking the form of many, small but important, changes in behavior. Remember the bumper sticker – “Practice Random Acts of Kindness”. How much difference could one small act of kindness make? We can never know until we do it. When it’s about me, we don’t do it. Hey isn’t it about making things easier for me. What do I get out of giving to the other guy?
Lack of trust in others. Lack of respect for others. Lack of Love for one of these the least of my children. When we do, if we do, it differently – without thought of reward – we make another step towards bringing the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. If I don’t who will? I may not always experience positive results. But, I have been given direction by every saint and prophet and savior who has spoken out as the mouth of God that the result will not be lost. Our effort will never be in vain.
Why do we hesitate to believe and act on the clear directions that we have been given? Are we afraid that it won’t work – that we will be taken advantage of? Sure, that was OK for Jesus – I mean he was Jesus – but not for me. I’m just an ordinary person. But didn’t he say ‘what I do you can and must do also’.
So I extend my hand. And if it’s bitten, I will extend it again. That’s the hard part - I was nice to this guy and he hurt me, I won’t be fool enough to do that again. But, I must. I must offer trust again and again. In spite of knowing that sometimes my trust will be betrayed. How can I turn back now that I have put my shoulder to the plow?
I may not see the Kingdom in this lifetime. But I know it is coming. And I know that when I respect, love and trust you that the Kingdom draws nearer to us both and to all our brothers and sisters who labor in the fields of the Lord.
Lack of trust in others. Lack of respect for others. Lack of Love for one of these the least of my children. When we do, if we do, it differently – without thought of reward – we make another step towards bringing the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. If I don’t who will? I may not always experience positive results. But, I have been given direction by every saint and prophet and savior who has spoken out as the mouth of God that the result will not be lost. Our effort will never be in vain.
Why do we hesitate to believe and act on the clear directions that we have been given? Are we afraid that it won’t work – that we will be taken advantage of? Sure, that was OK for Jesus – I mean he was Jesus – but not for me. I’m just an ordinary person. But didn’t he say ‘what I do you can and must do also’.
So I extend my hand. And if it’s bitten, I will extend it again. That’s the hard part - I was nice to this guy and he hurt me, I won’t be fool enough to do that again. But, I must. I must offer trust again and again. In spite of knowing that sometimes my trust will be betrayed. How can I turn back now that I have put my shoulder to the plow?
I may not see the Kingdom in this lifetime. But I know it is coming. And I know that when I respect, love and trust you that the Kingdom draws nearer to us both and to all our brothers and sisters who labor in the fields of the Lord.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Sunday Morning Service
I wake up at 3 PM. I’m fresh because I took a nap on Saturday to store up some extra energy. I know the moon will be setting soon. I would prefer to walk in the moonlight. Even if the moon is low in the sky near the horizon it reflects a lot of light. But I know that by the time I am prepared and into the desert the moon will have set below the horizon. The waiting dawn will not yet be visible. The land will be very dark. I know that darkness and don’t exactly relish it.
My pack is ready. I have water, and extra layer if it gets chilly, my Love flute. I fix a quick snack and get out of the four walls. I feed the horses as I pass by – half a ration. They will get the rest when I get back. I enter the darkness like going into a dense fog bank. Suddenly I can’t see my feet and barely see my hands. The world is a phantasmagoria of subtle lights. Every shape is vague and distant. Blue-gray is the dominant color.
The dark takes away the known with all it’s built in securities. Now I can barely perceive where I am in space. Chasms can open up under me upon a misstep. Walking becomes an absolute focus of attention. Feeling with my toes and the balls of my feet before committing my full weight to the step. My insecurities surface and must be neutralized or I will fall. I know from past experience that my body can do this if I can agree to let it.
It means doing strange things like walking on all fours. Using my body like my brothers the chimps and apes. Three secure places to balance on before committing to the next move. It’s slow – especially if I allow the mind to want to get somewhere. Then it becomes tedious. I must abandon myself to the now – no future, no past, just here. What comes may.
There are many mountains to climb. Places to go and people to meet and Native American style flutes to play. Will any of that happen? When I left my room I put thing in order knowing that I might never come back. Not that it would make any difference. Or would it? It feels right to me so that is the way I do it. What is the best way I can leave a room? Or leave a life?
My pack is ready. I have water, and extra layer if it gets chilly, my Love flute. I fix a quick snack and get out of the four walls. I feed the horses as I pass by – half a ration. They will get the rest when I get back. I enter the darkness like going into a dense fog bank. Suddenly I can’t see my feet and barely see my hands. The world is a phantasmagoria of subtle lights. Every shape is vague and distant. Blue-gray is the dominant color.
The dark takes away the known with all it’s built in securities. Now I can barely perceive where I am in space. Chasms can open up under me upon a misstep. Walking becomes an absolute focus of attention. Feeling with my toes and the balls of my feet before committing my full weight to the step. My insecurities surface and must be neutralized or I will fall. I know from past experience that my body can do this if I can agree to let it.
It means doing strange things like walking on all fours. Using my body like my brothers the chimps and apes. Three secure places to balance on before committing to the next move. It’s slow – especially if I allow the mind to want to get somewhere. Then it becomes tedious. I must abandon myself to the now – no future, no past, just here. What comes may.
There are many mountains to climb. Places to go and people to meet and Native American style flutes to play. Will any of that happen? When I left my room I put thing in order knowing that I might never come back. Not that it would make any difference. Or would it? It feels right to me so that is the way I do it. What is the best way I can leave a room? Or leave a life?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Birds Fly South
The birds have stopped singing and the hot dry has gripped the desert. Now the days are getting shorter. The cool days of Fall are a longed for respite. Even knowing that the cutting winds of Winter are not far behind. The birds have already started to move higher into the mountains in search of food and more hospitable temperatures. Soon some will start the long journey South for the winter. Many of the smart desert plants are dropping their leaves so as to conserve precious water. They will lie dormant until awakened for Spring by the Winter rains – if there are any.
The Desert ecosystem is a master of the art of conservation of energy. As I get older and the vigor of my youth wanes I understand better the necessity of energy efficiency. The impulse to measure my every movement for waste brings with it a certain respect for the limitations that come with physical life. It is a reminder that nothing can exist outside of the Circle of Life and its delicate balance of creation and dissolution, birth, life and death.
How have we managed to lose contact with Mother Nature? We are bleeding her to death to fuel a joy ride that cannot be sustained. Where is the respect for the land that generations before ours took so seriously?
Now I devote myself to making happiness available to a world hungry for a feeling of peace and togetherness. Happiness in the form of a simple musical instrument called the Native American flute. It’s not a grand project, I know. It won’t attract any government funding or a spot on Ophra. But, it’s enough for me to know that every Love flute is making a difference is someone’s life. Somewhere there is a song where before there was none. Someone is playing a tune and others are listening. The world turns another time. The birds start South. Tomorrow I will return to my shop and make a few more flutes.
The Desert ecosystem is a master of the art of conservation of energy. As I get older and the vigor of my youth wanes I understand better the necessity of energy efficiency. The impulse to measure my every movement for waste brings with it a certain respect for the limitations that come with physical life. It is a reminder that nothing can exist outside of the Circle of Life and its delicate balance of creation and dissolution, birth, life and death.
How have we managed to lose contact with Mother Nature? We are bleeding her to death to fuel a joy ride that cannot be sustained. Where is the respect for the land that generations before ours took so seriously?
Now I devote myself to making happiness available to a world hungry for a feeling of peace and togetherness. Happiness in the form of a simple musical instrument called the Native American flute. It’s not a grand project, I know. It won’t attract any government funding or a spot on Ophra. But, it’s enough for me to know that every Love flute is making a difference is someone’s life. Somewhere there is a song where before there was none. Someone is playing a tune and others are listening. The world turns another time. The birds start South. Tomorrow I will return to my shop and make a few more flutes.
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